My most important lesson was to never give up. I realized this was important to me because there was a time in life when I felt like giving up on everything. It all started when I first found out I was pregnant in the year of April 2013.I was living in my Aunt’s house. It was a five bedroom home, but I wanted a place I could call home. Fredrick Douglass’s mistress proved slavery as injurious to her as it was to him. “When I went there she was a pious, warm and tender hearted woman. There was no sorrow or suffering for which she had not a tear. She had bread for the hungry, clothes for the naked and comfort for every mourner that came within her reach.” This description remind me of my Aunt because she’s warm hearted, powerful, intelligent, helpful and thoughtful. She reminds me of an angel sent from God. She’s always looking for something positive she can do like give to the needy and feed kids in the neighborhood.
Furthermore, I remember crying and stressing myself out during my pregnancy, thinking “How will I be able to take care myself and another human being?” I knew I had to get my priorities together I was still living with my Aunt but that was not where I wanted to be. It was, noisy, crowed and every time the doorbell rang it annoyed me. I had standards from that day on. I was working at Subway but I got fired from my job for eating. I wasn’t on break but I was pregnant and hungry. I knew if I didn’t eat I would pass for standing on my feet all day, so I took that chance to eat when there were no customers. After I got fired I was upset because it was the beginning of my pregnancy, I had help from my relatives but I wanted to provide for my child myself. I begin thinking it was a problem that I couldn’t solve. Douglass recalls “Have not I as good a right to be free as you have. I was now twelve years old and the thought of being a slave for life began to bear heavenly upon my heart. Just about this time I got hold of a book entitled “The Columbian Orator”. Every opportunity I got I read this book.” This memory reminds me of myself.Everytime I go through a tough situation I’ll read a book like African American stories or Romance. It helps me get threw things.
My Aunt always told me I could stay as long as I pleased. She provided food, shelter and a nursery for my baby. She explained to me if I didn’t have faith then I didn’t have anything. She told me this repeatedly until she realized I had it in me.Time passed and I had my beautiful baby girl. She was everything I could ask for. Beautiful, pretty eyes, long eyelashes she was perfect. The only thing we were missing was a home. After I left the hospital my family could see the anger in my eyes. I was angry because I felt lost I didn’t know what my next step was. I knew I didn’t want to go back to my Aunt’s house. I went to my cousin’s town home for a couple of weeks. Then I began to start my plan. I got a sheet of paper and thought about what step I was going to take next.
It was then December 2013, so I knew the New Year was yet to come. I knew federal income tax was coming and I also knew I wanted to start school in January 2014. Receiving the school financial Aid would have been a big help, plus I wanted to better my education. With the money I was going to receive from taxes and financial aid I was going to move in my own place. I eventually called my old job back and asked my manager can I come back. I was a great worker so she talked to the supervisor and he agreed.
One day I was looking in a newspaper I saw some apartments that was very affordable. I scheduled an appointment with them but when I saw them they were dirty, smelled like mildew, people yelling out the windows, and very small. I knew I had to be at work in an hour but I wasn’t far from my job. I walked a few blocks down the street and I saw a Now Leasing sign. I called the leasing office and told her I was standing outside of the complex she directed me to come right in. I talked to her and told her I was in a rush but I am looking for a 1 bedroom apartment as soon as possible. She gave me a date to meet back with her with all my information and the security deposit. In a couple of weeks she called me while I was at work and told me I got accepted come in and sign my lease. I was delighted!
Douglass became more depleted by the day.I often found myself regretting my own existence and wishing myself dead: and but for the hope of free, I have no doubt but that I should have killed myself, or done something for which I should been killed. While in this state of mind I was eager to hear anyone speak of slavery.” This emotion relates to me because I was going through a lot. After my pregnancy I wanted my life to be over. Even though I had shelter, food and support I was missing my independence. I thought there was nothing left to do but give up. I knew I had a responsibility. I too, wanted to hear words of encouragement from anyone that would listen.
Today, I am stronger, wiser and independent. I conquered what I never thought I could. It makes me now a better woman when I went through that term in my life. Now I’ve learned that you can’t wait on things to happen to you in life, you have to get up and get it on your own. Nothing came easy.
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