St. Louis by James

Growing up in St.Louis Mo hasn’t been easy. My name is James. I grew up on the west side of the STL. I am a 29 yr. old father. The neighborhood I grew up in is called the ‘’trax’’ which is known for drug sales and violence.

  At the age of 13, I started to do what I witnessed others doing in my neighborhood: selling crack, smoking weed and carrying guns. My choice for doing these things was voluntary and I thought it was the right thing to do because I saw that and worse on a daily basis. My lifestyle choice started to catch up with me around the age of 16. At 16,I started getting expelled from school and making regular trips to juvenile detention. The older I got I didn’t care too much about the trips to juvenile because the trips were short and quick and usually ended with my mother picking me up after 30 days or less.

 At the age of 19 I was arrested again but this time was old enough to go to adult jail. The charge I received was manufacturing narcotics with intent to distribute, and I was no longer just selling crack now I was manufacturing it from raw cocaine. Being caught doing this earned me my first trip to adult jail for a few months, which was long enough to see the judge and accept a plea agreement for probation. Upon my release on probation, I started back doing the same thing expecting different results looked at this lifestyle as second nature and I was surviving. By being on adult probation now one mistake could send me to prison. At the age of 20 I was running the streets selling drugs and carrying suns, lo and behold I was stopped, frisked, and arrested because the officer found a gun in my possession. After being booked for being caught with the gun while on probation, I was given a bond. After my bond was paid, I was released from jail .Before my probation officer caught wind of my new arrest I went on the run because I knew I was going to prison for sure for this arrest, for how long I wasn’t positive and definitely was not trying to find out. After realizing I would definitely have to go on the run, I panicked because I knew I would have my probation officer, bounty hunters and US court marshals looking for me.I began to plan but I knew running from my problems wouldn’t help, but what was I supposed to do just volunteer to go away from my family and friends for a very long time? In all actuality that’s what I wound up having to do anyway.

By choosing to run I had to look over my shoulder plus change all old friends ,habits and desert my family. I was alone and couldn’t return home as bad as I wanted too, even though occasionally I was in contact with my family through my sister in Hawaii, the police had been making regular trips to my family’s homes threatening them for my whereabouts. I felt bad for putting my family through this. One day the police went as far as to even put handcuffs on my grandmother and threaten to take my nephew away because they assumed that they were aiding me while I was on the run. Occasionally my family would help me with money by way of western union ,back then 5 or 6 years ago I didn’t need identification to retrieve money all you needed was a secret keyword given by the sender .

While on the run I met this young woman named ‘’Desiree’’which later turned out to be my sons mother, she was there for me and I spent the majority of my time with her and her family doing odd jobs for her father and the landlord where I was living. While being on the run for 3 years I started to realize that I didn’t have to live that lifestyle any longer because the whole time I was on the run I lived normal and stayed to myself.

 At the age of 23 , I was finally caught by bounty hunters which are the people you pay to help you get released and guarantee your presence in court while on bond. Boy were the bounty hunters not happy when they caught me but neither was I.One afternoon I was going to pick my girlfriend up, then out of nowhere they came from everywhere with guns drawn thought bounty hunters couldn’t carry guns put up a fight but it didn’t help it was more of them then me. After they transported me to the hospital for the wounds I sustained from resisting arrest, I was transported to St.Louis city jail for booking. I knew once I saw the judge I was going to prison. Well I went to court and was sentenced and didn’t see the streets again for 5 years.

During my time in prison I found out I was a father and really started making changes in my mind and life necessary for me to be the father I am now in order for my son to have a role model. I'm free again now and I attend school, work and spend as much time with my son as I can. I don’t believe in selling drugs and running the streets anymore. I'm smarter now and my son deserves better.